From endless searches for the most 'authentic' restaurant to the inevitable ready-meal shame, you've seen it all if you're dating a foodie
1. The roast is a very big deal
A leg of lamb isn’t cooked until it’s been brined, roasted, pressed and roasted. Only then will you get anywhere near it. That’s if you haven’t already tried to stave off hunger by eating your own sleeves.
2. A ready-meal may not touch your lips
If you so much as stepped over the threshold of your home with a plastic-filmed dinner, you would need to prepare for a future alone. The two of you never talk about the time you committed adultery with a microwave mac and cheese. It’s too painful.
3. No food is ever fast food
You know what the words "I’ll just make something quick" mean. You know to mentally substitute the word "quick" with either "incredibly complicated" , "messy" or "that I have never tried before and will take ages."
4. You're pronouncing it wrong
It’s pronounced nnnnnnocchi, you know. And it’s not chor-eezo, it's chor-ee-THO. It's Spanish.
5. They worship at the food market
Saturday mornings aren't for lie-ins, oh no. If you live with a foodie you’ll be sniffing cheese and fondling veg at the farmers market long before 10am.
6. Holidays are never that relaxing
The endless search for "authentic cuisine" on your trip to Spain may well end with you nursing flip flop blisters: there will be hours of trudging and almost certainly a few awkward false starts in restaurants while you settle on the right place. Even when you do finally sit down they'll be wearing an expression of niggling worry that this isn’t truly local cooking.
7. They say they hate food snobs
A true foodie has no truck with restaurant food photographers and part time bloggers cataloguing their dinner. They roll their eyes at the fools. What they don’t tell anyone is that they’ve got an entire secret photo album of their own creations on their phone. You know when they’re feeling down they look at it.
8. Meal times are riddled with self-loathing
If your other half has done the cooking they'll spend the whole meal telling you what they could have done differently. Offer them a compliment and they shoot you down. No, they say "it could have been better." They’ve been through so much they’re actually not even that hungry anymore.
9. Oh, the mess
There is always some sort of epic project happening in your kitchen. Your life seems to be an eternal cycle of washing up and you've have all but forgotten what the worktop looks like.