Everyone tells you they couldn't live without bread...
1. You're tired of explaining the difference between wheat and gluten
Explaining it feels like negotiating your way through some kind of logic puzzle. "So a gluten-free item will always be wheat-free, but a wheat-free item may not always be gluten-free?" Cue *puzzledface*
Gluten is the elastic protein in wheat, rye and barley. So no, you can't have that rye bread, no matter how enthusiastically your friends tell you it's wheat-free.
2. You spend a lot of time reading the ingredients
Durum, semolina, spelt, bulgur, wheat flour, wheat starch, modified wheat starch, couscous, wheat rusk, wheat bran, wheat germ, rye, barley, triticale. These are your words of actual doom.
3. Turns out gluten is in everything
Beer, soy sauce, Worcestershire sauce, teriyaki sauce, salad dressing, gravy, beer, tortilla chips, french fries, sausages, ice cream, beer. It's not fair!
4. The phrase "Let's just grab a sandwich" is going to end in tears. Always
Oh, look at this astonishing array of lunch goods. Oh no wait. There is literally nothing to eat.
5. You've been offered a seat on the tube
That one time you "accidentally" ate a brioche and bloated so fast you practically had to roll yourself home.
6. Italy is a minefield
"Gluten-free" is not something that translates into Italian. After a week of baffled waiters and endless salads, you pluck up the courage to order the soup, only for it to arrive like this:
7. You spend all your money on "bread"
Some things are just too hard to let go of. Even though it tastes of nothing and costs £3.85 for four slices. You've tried everything in the Free From section of the supermarket – because maybe these new muffins won't taste of chalk and sadness.
8. Buckwheat is not a wheat!
Who knew? One of the more absurdly named members of the rhubarb family is also a total saviour to the gluten-freer and responsible for some exceptional pancakes.
9. You're very grateful gluten-free has gone all trendy ...
Nothing better than the faddy healthy folk jumping on the bandwagon. Suddenly you're spotting that oh-so-joyous GF symbol everywhere. Suddenly everyone is taking you seriously, there are whole restaurants dedicated to you and there is so much to eat!