The dish that's fighting the #eatclean movement, 3,000 calories at a time

 

In a world where a piece of avocado rolled up in a cucumber has become an acceptable snack, it’s good to know that Glaswegians haven’t succumbed to the #eatclean movement.

 

In fact, their unofficial national dish, the munchie box (also known as the munchy box), is more popular than ever despite Glasgow City Council suggesting that at 3,000 calories per box, they might perhaps not be the most nutritious of meals.

 

Alongside the kickback against the healthy eating crew, the on-going popularity of this box o’ dreams must partly be due to the trauma of the post-pub decision of what to order at the take-away. Doner kebab? Pizza? Chicken wings? Or just chips?

 

This is where their late-night delicacy comes into play. Why should you decide? Just have it all.

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Munchie menu

Photo: Homemade

… and a diet Coke, please

 

Just as the Japanese have their bento boxes, so the Scottish have their munchie boxes. But, aside from the fact they both have the word ‘box’ in the title, that’s where the similarity ends. As far as we know. Unless someone’s made some doner sashimi?

 

 

The line-up

This particular dish – normally found in Glasgow and west Scotland – is definitely more Deliciously Stella than Deliciously Ella.

 

Essentially, any take-away food can form part of this shocker of a meal. From USA-style fries and burgers, to Turkish kebabs or Indian starters, think of this dish as a multi-cultural melting pot stretching its chubby arms around the globe and into the deep-fat fryers of the world.

 

The calorie fiesta of a typical box might include:

  • Pizza
  • French fries
  • Doner
  • Fried chicken
  • Onion rings
  • Pakora
  • Naan bread
  • Garlic bread
  • Cheese
  • Coleslaw
  • Dips

 

Oh, and the all important side salad. Because they’re not animals.

 

In homage to this frankly astounding assault on your digestive system, here's some of the best/worst examples of sticking two fingers up at unclogged arteries and continuing to order the Herculean take-away.

 

And, just for lolz, we've captioned them with some British Reddit users trying to explain the beige buffet to Americans.

 

1. "Most Scottish food seems like it was invented on a dare"

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TBF, we can see why people might think that

 

2. "If I die at 40 it will have been worth it"

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Good to see they've gone big on Glasgow salad (the chips)

 

3. "It's fine – the salad cancels out the calories!"

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Look, there's all the major food groups in this badboy

 

4. "This is how we will come together as a planet. It's the United Nations of drunk food"

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Excellent, they've remembered the bread. Was worried it wasn't going to fill us up

 

5. "Choose life. Choose a munchie box"

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And for dessert, a glass of your finest Irn Bru, my man

 

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