We've conducted our own baking task in honour of this week's The Great British Bake Off showstopper challenge
It's week two in Britain's most icing sugar-dusted tent.
And, with the second round – ding ding – we turn our thoughts away from the soggy Madeira cakes, the collapsed black Forest gâteaus (we really, really felt your pain, Dorret) and Stu's ever-present hat.
Now, our focus is on this episode's theme: biscuits.
Word on the street is that the hopefuls will be asked to create an edible biscuit tin, filled with 32 flavours of everyone's favourite teatime accompaniment.
Which sounds pretty tricky. But it got us thinking: just what are the key steps to making a magnificent structure out of bourbons? Do garibaldis crumble under their own weight when stacked? How much icing is too much?
In the spirit of discovery, we set out on a highly controlled, scientific, crumb-covered experiment.
Here are the results …
1. Shortbread is the boss
Oh, shortbread. You trusty, solid, salt-of-the-earth buttery wonder. We knew you'd hold up. While lesser confections crumble, this Scottish stalwart responds like a dream to as much stacking, melting, icing and adorning you can throw at it.
2. Golden syrup is the glue you need
Sure, icing sounds like the natural choice for building structures out of biscuits. But if you want any sort of intricacy, then golden syrup is the one you want. Sticky, sweet and nearly as binding as super glue, it's a total godsend.
3. Use decorations. You'll need them
Let's be frank. Biscuit building is a messy, messy business. Unless you're a super-star baker like the Bake Off contestants, your castle/tower/tin isn't going to look pretty on its own.
Crushed pistachios, a touch of vanilla buttercream and dark chocolate chips all come in handy for disguising imperfections.
4. Bourbons are flimsier than they look
Considering making a biscuit masterpiece out of the classic bourbon? Maybe give them a miss. Delicious? Yes. Chocolatey? Indeed. Able to take being sandwiched together and built up into something fancy? No.
5. Keep the chocolate ratio low
Under normal circumstances, the Choco Leibniz's signature generous biscuit-to-chocolate ratio is a thing of joy. That is not the case when trying to build towers out of them.
Melt, melt, melt, melt, melt.