Hunger + anger = rage and destruction of unimaginable proportions
Oh, hanger. That uniquely destructive emotion bred when a little peckishness suddenly segways into full-blown starving, and a whole lot of rage.
For some, an empty tummy is a simple discomfort – like missing an hour of sleep or a noisy colleague who takes some perverse pleasure out of relentlessly humming.
For others, it can transform your typically chirpy, friendly disposition and twist it into that of a fire-breathing dragon faced with near-certain death.
To that latter: this one's for you.
1. There is no time for rationality
When deprived of food, the following behaviours are totally acceptable, and, indeed, to be expected of hangry sufferers. Picking a fight about which brand of loo roll to buy; passive-aggressive eye rolling; taking issue with the way that your other half breathes... you get the picture.
2. Hell hath no fury like you when the meal you were promised is not delivered
"What do you mean, 'We'll just grab something later'?!? You said we were going for lunch!"
3. Pizza does not take an hour to make
Anything longer than 20 minutes is a totally and completely unacceptable amount of time to wait for a take away.
4. After work time is food time
People who plan after-work events that don't factor in food are, at best, confusing and, at worst, Satan's spawn. This is entirely dependant on which stage of the hanger cycle you're at.
5. Preparation is everything
Your snack supply is legendary. Nuts in your handbag, peanut butter on your desk... whatever goes down, you've got it covered.
6. Trains, planes and cars are all cause for concern
Travel is fraught with worry ("BUT WHAT IF WE GET THERE AND THERE IS NO FOOD OUTLET??!!!"). Again, intense snack prep is the only way to go.
7. Food before loved ones
There is zero time for love, affection or caring before your hanger is dealt with. Zero.
8. Baguettes will balance you back out
Good news is, a simple sandwich can transform your personality. It takes about two bites.
9. Indecisive friends must be dropped
It's perfectly valid to cull friends who dither over which restaurant to go to. SO LONG AS IT SERVES THINGS WITH CARBS, LET'S JUST GO INSIDE. OK?
10. Sorry seems to be the hardest word
Nine out of 10 of your apologies centre around saying sorry for things you said while you were hangry.