She's on a mission to help purge our bodies of ‘heavy metals, fire retardants and pesticides.’ Um, OK …
Think your 2015 health kick means cutting back on booze and the occasional shuffle around the park? Oh how wrong you are.
Queen of lean and Hollywood A-lister Gwyneth Paltrow has been busy penning her annual detox plan – and it won’t fail to make you smile / run in terror to the biscuit tin.
Now, dear readers, reading the whole thing will make you feel utterly unhealthy, so we’ve done the hard work for you.
Say hello to our edit of the goop detox best bits:
Get a colonic
Apparently eating chocolate logs for breakfast isn't the best and can leave you feeling a bit bunged up.
While some people start a new year health kick with a green juice, Gwynnie's mantra is "flush out everything from your body. EVERYTHING."
So long food that tastes good
The actor says: “Just say no to: alcohol, caffeine, added sugar, gluten, dairy, soy, corn and nightshades (white, blue, red and yellow potatoes, tomatoes, eggplant).” Easy, right? *coughs*
And your salary …
Flax seeds, dandelion flowers, sauna sessions and colonic irrigations don't come cheap, Gwyn.
Well, cauliflower rice for dinner never filled anyone up, right?
And if all else fails, contemplate setting up home in a gym. We’ll call that plan B.