Nothing says romance like covering your body in a sticky brown spread made from yeast extract, right?
In breaking news, Marmite is heading from the kitchen to the bedroom, as the brand teams up with adult store Harmony to bring yeast-flavoured body paint to the clamouring masses. Hmmm.
Why, you ask? Well, apparently, customers just would not stop calling for it. Storming into the Oxford Street flagship store and demanding to have their voices heard. And heard they have been.
Harmony manager Jamie O’Sullivan said: “Our customers just kept asking, ‘When will you have a Marmite body paint option in store?’ and until now we’ve had to repeatedly tell them that it’s chocolate or nothing.
"Some people hate chocolate, so we can fully understand their frustration at not having a Marmite alternative. We’re delighted to be able to work with Marmite to try to make it a reality. Clearly it’s the missing ingredient in a lot of people’s sex lives!”
And Marmite seem to agree. Joanne O’Riada, Marmite Brand Manager, proudly announced: “Marmite is Britain’s favourite spread for the breakfast table so we can see why it wouldn't be out of place in the bedroom."
So can you buy it? No. It's still being developed just in time for next Valentine's Day. Rest easy your beating hearts.
Marmite tweeted the announcement with: "Fifty Shades of Brown, why should toast have all fun?"
And certainly some people thought that actually, yes, we're fine with toast having all fun:
Others thought it was an excellent idea:
And some asked some very serious practical questions:
Watch this space Marmite lovers. Or if you can't wait that long, check out the things you didn't know you could do with Marmite.