It's fine, we all do it! Er, except that one. We don't do that ...
1. Purposely leaving a portion of leftover dinner that isn’t quite big enough for lunch tomorrow
So you can go "wait, this isn't big enough for lunch tomorrow!" and eat it all 20 minutes later.
2. Putting salad on your plate that you know you will definitely not eat
And then feeling guilty when you don't, as though you may have hurt its feelings. Poor spinach. What did it ever do to you?
3. Eating food you’ve not only dropped on the floor, but actively had to pick a hair off
Hey, where I grew up it was called the "three minute rule".
4. Genuinely believing that ‘trimmings’ don’t count
There are no calories in "evening up". You’re just giving the cake a little haircut! You are the Vidal Sassoon of lemon drizzle.
5. Buying something at the supermarket specifically to eat on the journey home
And packing it right at the top of the bags, for easy access. Oh what’s this, a slice of wafer-thin ham on the bus? Don't mind if I do.
6. Eating a few frozen peas while you cook the rest
Mmm, like tiny green ice pops. Mmm.
7. Likewise, uncooked pasta
Crunchy and flavourless! Ooh, what a treat.
8. Every single time you eat Vienetta…
"What if the brown plastic tray were made of chocolate?"
It’s never going to happen. Let go of the dream and just buy yourself some chocolate.
9. Worrying about bad luck when you open a crisp packet upside-down
All the luck falls out! Everyone knows that.
10. Nuking leftovers for ages in the microwave because you’re so afraid of food poisoning ...
But then eating raw cake mix like it’s practically baby food.
11. Eating something after you’ve brushed your teeth at night, and feeling like a total rebel
Who’re you going to tell, the tooth police?
12. Throwing food away… and then having second thoughts
What a wasteful, gung-ho fool you were 12 seconds ago.
13. Always eating a bite of burnt toast, just in case it’s delicious
It isn’t. It tastes of burnt. You knew that.
14. Always going into a certain shop because once, ages ago, they gave you a free sample
And one day they might again! Hang on in there.
Until then, do one cursory circuit of the shop and quietly leave again. You know the drill.