If you’re not groaning, the Christmas cracker joke isn’t doing its job properly
Here are 20 'best of the worst' Christmas cracker jokes to entertain/baffle/annoy unwitting friends, family and strangers alike. Get ready to grumble.
Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party?
Because he had no body to go with
Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy
What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar?
He got 25 days
What do you call a skeleton detective?
What do ghosts eat at Christmas?
Why do birds fly south for the winter?
Because it’s too far to walk
Why don’t ducks tell jokes when they’re flying?
Because they’d quack up
What is Santa’s favourite pizza?
One that’s deep-pan, crisp and even
What do you call someone that’s scared of Santa?
What athlete is the warmest at Christmas?
A long jumper
What’s E.T. short for?
Because he’s only got little legs
What says ‘Oh-Oh-Oh’?
Santa walking backwards
Why did the snowman come first at the Winter Olympics?
There was snow competition
Why did Santa have to go to the hospital?
Because of his poor elf
What’s the best Christmas present you could receive?
A broken drum, you just can’t beat it
What award goes to designers of doorknockers?
A no bell prize
How do you know Santa’s real?
He’s from the grotto
How can you tell if Santa is a werewolf?
He has Santa Claws
What do you get if you cross a lion with snow?
What do elves learn at school?