Of all the possible utensils for eating rice, how did we settle on two tiny sticks?

Was there ever a utensil feared more than the chopstick? Each bite is a game of chance whether anything will make it to your mouth. The wrist cramp. The mess. The inevitable shame of asking for a fork. 

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Sure, sure. Maybe you spent a couple of months backpacking through China and now you're this guy to the right ... yeah, we can do that too. Not. 





If not, here's a crash course. All you have to know is: never stab your food, never leave your chopsticks standing up in your rice, and try to avoid being any of these people.





No. They're not for pizza.

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Chopstick fail pizza

Via: UncleSam65 / Imgur

This can only end in disaster

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See, even this dog is better at it than you

And everyone is better than this guy trying to open a Pepsi

When all else fails, cut your losses and call for a fork

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Via: imgur.com

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No, not like tha... forget it. 



We get it. They're hard work. May we suggest learning:



Ni you meiyou chazi?  

'Can I have a fork please?'